EXCERPTS FROM
"POLICE ON PATROL: THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY"

From a chapter on favorite excuses:

We caught a man stealing money from a parking meter. He said he hadn't used up all his time on the meter and wanted a refund.

I arrested a husband for assaulting his wife. He said, "Officer, I just snapped. I was tired of coming home every single night and finding my wife in bed with my uncle."

"The only explanation, officer, is 'spontaneous acceleration.' This car has a mind of it's own."

A woman flew past me. When I caught up to her, she said she was in a hurry. Her son had a doctor's appointment and she was running late. I pointed two things out to her: One, she was headed in the wrong direction for her appointment; and two, where was her son?

The lady was speeding home because she said she had to feed her goldfish.

Around 1 o'clock in the afternoon, I issued a ticket for parking in a handicapped parking space. A man came running down the street after me. He said, with the ticket in his hand, "But officer, it's after 12 o'clock. After 12 it's no longer a handicapped parking space."

"Officer, please don't give me a ticket. I borrowed the car without permission and I wanted to get it back before it was missed."

From a chapter detailing strange and bizarre calls:

I was out on patrol when I heard muffled yells for help. I located a man, wearing only his underwear, stuck in a chimney. The man had been attempting to gain entry to the house he'd intended to rob. He threw his clothes down the chimney and planned on sliding down after them. But he got stuck.

Every week we were summoned to the tinfoil lady's residence. She wore a hat made of tinfoil and everything in her house was either tinfoil or aluminum. She explained she needed to be surrounded by tinfoil and aluminum because it was the only way she could make contact with Alpha Centauri. She was finally committed.

A woman used her key to get into her car at a local mall. She sat down in the vehicle, then realized it wasn't her car. Hers was nowhere in sight. Another woman with the same exact car called the police department and reported that she'd driven a car all the way home before she realized it wasn't hers. Same make. Same model. Same key.

I went to a burglary in progress. On the ground next to the building was the new merchandise. A man was up on the fire escape pretending to have gas pains. He was the one actually robbing the place. He thought if he faked a stomach ache, we wouldn't think he was the criminal.

I pulled up to a car parked in a secluded spot. When the couple got out of the vehicle, they were wearing each other's underwear. The pink lace really didn't do anything for the guy.

On Thanksgiving we were called to a domestic disturbance. The husband and wife had gotten into an argument because he'd fed the turkey to the dog. The wife wanted her husband arrested for feeding the dog.

When we arrived at the scene of a domestic call, we knew we were at the correct address. Clothing was being tossed out the window onto the lawn. People call 911 for the most ridiculous things. A lady called to complain that when the neighbors flushed the toilet upstairs, it was too loud. She wanted them arrested for loud flushing.

One day while on patrol, one of the other officers decided to check out a local factory which used to be a military facility - complete with missile silos. The road was curvy. Somehow, the officer left the road and landed directly on the top of an old missile silo. It took three officers and a winch to remove the cruiser.

A young woman hit a buck deer with her car. The car was completely demolished. I told her I had to shoot the deer because it had two broken legs and possibly internal bleeding. She ran to the deer's side, grabbed it around the neck and hugged it. That's when the deer bucked her and broke her nose. The deer was about 150 pounds and still strong enough even though it was dying. The girl didn't want me to kill the deer and kept blocking my aim. I didn't know whether to shoot the deer or her!

There was glare ice on the highways as I arrived at the scene of an accident. I set up flares and witnessed another five accidents all within one minute. I called on my radio. "There goes another one, and another one. Please send help. Oh, no. There's another one . . . "

ABOUT THE BOOK:

Connecticut author Linda Kleinschmidt interviewed hundreds of Connecticut municipal and state police and compiled the best of her results in a new book entitled Police on Patrol: The Other Side of the Story. The soft cover book deals with the many different aspects of the daily life of a law enforcement officer. Miss Kleinschmidt presents a realistic-and often humorous-side to their stories that give an unprecedented view into the world of modern law enforcement.

The reader is taken along onto the streets, in the front seat of a cruiser, and into the squad rooms to get the inside scoop on what our police go through, from the routine . . . to the truly strange. You'll hear officers' pet peeves, war stories, and favorite motorists' excuses. You'll witness bizarre accidents. And you'll see some "routine calls" that turned out to be anything but routine!

In a special commentary section, a select group of Connecticut's finest were given an open forum to comment on the current state of law enforcement and present their viewpoints on what it's like to be a cop today. And, for the first time in one place, the book includes a complete directory of all of Connecticut's municipal and state police locations.

The author says, "Some encounters are amusing, many are incredible and some are downright bizarre. The stories are all true and are told from the heart."

Police on Patrol: The Other Side of the Story
soft cover, 154 pages, black and white illustrations. $14.95
Publication date: March 15, 1996.
Published by
A.J. Publishing
P.O. Box 4277-CS
Hartford, CT 06147-4277 TO ORDER: 1-800-498-8228.

For press information, contact:
Deena A. Quilty
P.O. Box 632
Farmington, Connecticut 06034-0632
860-678-8622, 860-674-1112 fax
E-mail: 72242.2144@compuserve.com

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